CRAZY SMARF

only through suffering is one enabled with the strength

to survive –

Being There

Touching the Void

Shutter Island

Inland Empire

Blue Jasmine

Adaptation

The Shining
Night of the Living Dead
Apocalypse Now

Inkpot

“little brown body in a gray sheet bed in the slums of

Telegraph Hill huge figure in the history of the night

yes but only one among many – the asexuality of the

WORK also the sudden gut joy of beer when the visions

of great words in rhythmic order all in one giant arch

angel go roaring thru my brain so I lie in the dark also

seeing also hearing the jargon of the future worlds –

damajehe eleout ekeke dhdkdk dldoud – d ekeoeu dfh

kehgyt better not a more than lther ehe the macmurphy

out of that dgardent that which strangely he doth mdo

dudltkdip- baseeaatra- poor examples because of the

mechanical needs of typing of the flow of river sounds

words dark leading to the future and attesting to the

madness hollowness ring and roar of my mind which

blessed or unblessed is where trees sing – in a funny

wind – well being believes he’ll go to heaven a word

to the wise is enough – “Smart went Crazy” wrote

Allen Ginsberg.) Reasons why I didn’t go home at 3

am. – and example.”  

Kerouac, The Subterraneans

DESCRIPTION OF A MYTH

almost everyone says “perception is reality”

and I shake my head paralyzed by silence:

I see a molecular portrait of the world presented

through a collage of free form expression

parallel signs of a quantum mind exploring and

embracing the existential spectrum of words

in a simultaneous experience of memory and

imagination searching for meaning created from

the immediate awareness of being alive –

and I realize if reality is reality then perception

is merely an illusion used to establish a contrast

to the unknown

therefore pairing the above quote with silence

is not only logical it is poetry…

RETURN OF THE TRUTH

 >>>>> keep your socks on we might be in for

> another

>> round

>>> or

>>>> 20

>>>>> and don't feel bad for having to chop me

> up

>> like

>>> veal

>>>> every once in a while even if I don't show my

>>>>> appreciation - it just occurred to me

> that

>> the

>>> only

>>>> thing I know how to do is to adjust myself to

> better

>>>>> fit other people's opinions...

>>>>>

>>>>> I looked inside Brah and found nothing but

> a

>> giant

>>>> gaping abyss

>>>>> black light

>>>>> dark energy

>>>>> total void

>>>>> devil’s grin

>>>>> negative zone

>>>>> death & destruction

>>>>> moldy farts & dried turd bombs

>>>>> toe jam & cunt crust

>>>>> sour titty juice Brah

>>>>> vintage ass cheese (makes the bleu stuff

> smell

>>> like

>>>> roses)

>>>>>

>>>>> I'm all rotten Brah

>>>>> got nothing to go for

>>>>> the dream is over Brah

>>>>> Giants won

>>>>> Brady is a poser

>>>>> Sox are going to lose to Detroit

>>>>> Detroit is already a cancerous tumor to

>> America's

>>>> gallbladder:

>>>>> "if you ain't lying you ain't trying"

>>>>>

>>>>> Brady lost because we're all lost

>>>>> Freedom?

>>>>> Freedumb?

>>>>> what the fuck is Freedom?

>>>>> can't walk to the 7/11 for skittles

> without

>> some

>>>> psychopathic madman out

>>>>> on community patrol with a loaded gun 

> says "he

>>> stood

>>>> his ground"

>>>>> 30,000 cases of rape reported in the

> military

>> last

>>>> year:

>>>>> The Pope wears pantyhose:

>>>>> and Marijuana is still considered a Class 1

>>> Narcotic:

>>>>> Isn't it still slavery even if the chains

> have

>>> been

>>>> replaced with paper currency not

>>>>> worth the pulp it's printed on?

>>>>>

>>>>> what's it all for?
>>

>>> fake shit & smart bombs?

>>>>
>>>>> red white & fuck you

>>>>> baseball apple pie & Who Gives a SHIT

>>>>>

>>>>> I'm out...

GO TIME

stay out of the sun and off the sauce until further notice have
been living in a fictional bubble pure la-la wonderland of raw
imagination projected to the invisible screen inside my skull
no applause required
silence preferred under these circumstances
ever notice how Santa and Satan are never in the same room
at the same time?
just one more reason why I believe 2 wrongs can make a right
especially in a completely virtualized world such as ours golden
techno glow existential fairytale collision of coincidence drives
a level head sideways screenshot saved for the final goodbye a
mad dog spit at midnight bottom lip split in half between first or
last gripped around memories on the run from the past history is
no longer behind but within us appearances and interpretations
images words and parallel injunctions among leery eyed warriors
enlisted to protect a vanishing code of what was once in place to
hold all of us accountable to mean what we say even though the
Creator has been dead for quite a while already "Language and
the prejudices upon which language is based are a manifold
hindrance to us when we want to explain inner processes and
drives: because of the fact for example that words really exist
only for superlative degrees of these processes and drives; and
where words are lacking we are accustomed to abandon exact
observation because exact thinking there becomes painful; and
indeed in earlier times one involuntarily concluded that where
the realm of words ceased the realm of existence ceased also.
Anger, hatred, love, pity, desire, knowledge, joy, pain - all are
names for extreme states: milder middle degrees, not to speak
of the lower degrees which are continually in play, elude us,
and yet it is they which weave the web of our character and of
our destiny."

Nietzsche, Daybreak

VANISH

what would you choose to do with 7 days to live:
from ignorance to innocence to write in such a way that gives the reader the full scope power of freedom to believe whatever it means once inside the darkness then say goodbye to life for the last time when it takes 3 beers to feel 1 some might find it my fault without knowing why as if addiction = logic + pussy + super transcendent bliss Emerson raised to the level of Thoreau no less impressive than Plato totem hyping Aristotle with prehistoric intellectual junkies consuming  toxic sophistry hard to the core unknown and 2 steps ahead of the help cunning truth from out of its essence leaving a shell ghost expression pure surface dead language shooting silence words driven ruined in shadow marks cast above incandescent light quantum lines between parallel minds End of Story almost absolutely but don't ask me of fractured metallic moment contrasting stages of self spiraling religion into philosophy into science into money into family into my final creative act "We mean that man first of all exists encounters himself surges up in the world and defines himself afterwards.  If man as the existentialist sees him is not definable it is because to begin with he is nothing.  He will not be anything until later and then he will be what he makes of himself.  Thus there is no human nature because there is no God to have conception of it.  Man simply is.  Not that he is simply what he conceives himself to be but he is what he wills and as he conceives himself after already existing - as he wills to be after that leap towards existence.  Man is nothing else but that which he makes of himself.  That is the first principle of existentialism.  And this is what people call its 'subjectivity' using the word as a reproach against us.  But what do we mean to say by this but that man is of a greater dignity than a stone or a table.  For we mean to say that man primarily exists - that man is before all else something which propels itself towards a future and is aware it is doing so.  Man is indeed a project which possesses a subjective life instead of being some kind of moss or fungus or a cauliflower."

Sartre, Existentialism And Humanism
  

LEFTOVERS

Black Friday
Dirty Gravy
Dark Meat
Broken Spun
Over Done
Past Due
Running Out of Reality
Second By Second...
Nothing Other

it's funny how they promise a better
world if elected but in reality they
stick us with another fucking library
filled with goofy lies and ridiculous
artifice in a revision of history that
never happened...

Zero Point
Absolutely Me

it seems like you've got something
to prove but no one to prove it to...

Good Brew
Liquid Trance

I prefer boozing in solitude because
imbibing alcohol is an original sacred
ritual meant for transcending illusions
of the world and accessing true self
much like taking yage and peyote or
waking the mind through prolonged
sessions of extreme meditation...

Modern Perversion
Autonomous Moods

"that this is the gift
and I am ill with it;
it has sloshed around my bones
and brings me awake to
stare at walls.

musing often leads to madness,
o dog with an
old rag doll.

into and beyond terror.
seriousness will not do,
seriousness is gone:
we must carve from
fresh marble.

hell, jack, this is wise-time:
we must insist on camouflage,
they taught us that;
wine come down through
staring eye,
god coughed alive
through the indistinct smoke
of verse.

the light yellow mamas are gone.
the garter high on the leg,
the charm of 18 is 80.
and the kisses, snakes darting
liquid silver have stopped:
no man lives the magic long.

until one morning it catches you;
you light the fire,
pour a hasty drink as the psyche
crawls like a mouse into an empty
pantry.

if you were El Greco
or even a watersnake
something could be done.

another drink.
well, rub your hands and prove
you are still alive.
walk the floor. seriousness will
not do.

this is the gift,
this is the gift...
certainly the charm of dying lies
in the fact that very little
is lost."

Bukowski, The Gift

WASTED

if it weren't for the void within each and everyone of us what would the inter-network connect to from snub to snog it's all been pre-conceived choreographed by the masters of illusion responsible for circulation of empty information a virtual shangri-la in google we trust truth be told I should've been gone two weeks ago but I've put my extended life on my credit card holding at 7.24% APR and I can always flaunt bankruptcy try collecting anything from me when I'm floating face down below Big Sur spoken ocean imagining a space between Bogart & Hitchcock the good old days of white lies dead flies black ties and dark skies we've seen the picture from a rear view mirror just in time for a Walter Cronkite news bulletin smile as if Kennedy had expected what was about to happen envisioned it coming out of Cuba Israel Moscow Khrushchev bathing in butter fried foie gras and human caviar blessed by the holy hammer & sickle one in the nose sticks and stones may break my bones but names tickle my balls one in the gut the other in the Bible is not without value but isn't it funny that it is taken word for word literally by the most illiterate among us why learn how to read when its so much easier to be deceived? "I'm pretty sure I can hear someone screaming in the house next to ours down the canyon and I close my window. I can also hear the dog barking out in back and KROQ is playing old Doors songs and War of the Worlds is on channel thirteen and I switch it to some religious program where the preacher is yelling 'Let God use you. God wants to use you. Lie back and let him use you, use you.' 'Lie back' he keeps chanting. 'Use you, use you.' I'm drinking gin and melted ice in bed and imagine that I can hear someone breaking in. But Daniel says over the phone that it's probably my sisters getting something to drink. It's hard to believe Daniel tonight; on the news I hear there were four people beaten to death in the hills last night and I stay up most of the night looking out the window staring into the backyard looking for werewolves."

Easton Ellis, Less Than Zero